BAAT KIJIYE, SAATH DIJIYE

Dear friends,
Less than a week ago, we all heard about yet another horrific patriarchal crime take place, this time in Telangana. The father insisted his daughter to get an abortion and hired people to kill his son-in-law. Now, the daughter is a pregnant widow.

Such heinous crimes in our society continue primarily due to the deeply entrenched attitudes in regards to religion and caste, lack of police protection for the couple, and poor law enforcement. In almost all cases the perpetrator gets away with no repercussions.

Like we have mentioned before –
The strongest opposition to interfaith/inter-caste marriages comes from the parents.

Dhanak’s campaign “Baat Kijiye, Saath Dijiye” is to spread awareness among parents about their adult children’s rights –
Their #RightToChoose in the matters of marriage, or a relationship.
#BaatKijiyeSaathDijiye

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Round Table Consultative Meet

Dhanak is a social organization that has been working on issues concerning the “Right to Choose” in marriage and relationship, since 2005. The majority of our members residing in different parts of India are married couples in mixed marriages who are married to a person from a different faith, or caste.

The focus of Dhanak is to facilitate and support couples or individuals who face various socio-legal challenges before, or after their alliance. Our objective is to build a gender-just society on the grounds of Right to Choose.

We understand that religion and caste are major deterrents against the Right to Choose. It further gets compounded by poor state rules and laws related to marriage, and poor law enforcement.

The strongest opposition to mixed marriages comes from the parents of a couple. Parents may go to any extent to stop their adult children from marrying a person of their choice. They often resort to physical and emotional violence by confining their daughter in the house. This successively deprives her of her phone, computer, job, and education.

Clearly, this is a case of domestic violence, but due to social conditioning and the non-questioning approach towards elders, the female in the relationship prefers to remain silent. She rather looks towards an amicable relationship with her parents. The majority of requests received by Dhanak from females are related to seeking help to talk to her parents and convince them for her alliance with her male friend.

धनक एक सामाजिक संगठन है जो विवाह या रिश्तों में “चयन के अधिकार” के विषय पर 2005 से कार्य करती है. धनक के ज़्यादातर साथी देश के अलग-अलग जगहों पर रहते हैं और खुद मिश्र विवाह में हैं. बहुत से साथी अंतर-जातीय या धार्मिक रिश्ते में हैं.

धनक मुख्यतः उन जोड़ों या व्यक्तियों की मदद करती है जिन्हें विभिन्न सामाजिक या कानूनी कारणों से एक साथ आने में मुश्किलों का सामना करना पड़ता है. हमारा उद्देश्य है की चयन के अधिकार के ज़रिये लैंगिक समानता पर आधारित समाज का निर्माण किया जा सके.

हमारा यह मानना है की जाति और धर्म, चयन के अधिकार के सामने दो सबसे बड़ी चुनौतियाँ है. यह और भी बड़ी बन जाती हैं जब विवाह से सम्बंधित नियम और कानून खुद चुनौतीपूर्ण हों और उनकी अमलबजयागी ढीली हो.

मिश्र विवाह करने वाले जोड़ों को तो सबसे बड़ी चुनौती खुद उनके माँ-बाप से होती है. अपनी व्यस्क औलाद को, उसकी पसंद के साथी से विवाह से रोकने के लिए वो किसी भी हद तक जा सकते हैं. ज़्यादातर वो अपनी बेटी के खिलाफ़ शारीरिक और मानसिक अत्याचार करते हैं या उसे घर में नज़रबंद कर देते हैं. नतीजतन इस तरह से एक महिला अपने फ़ोन, कंप्यूटर, नौकरी और शिक्षा से महरूम कर दी जाती हैं.

यकीनन यह एक तरह की चरेलू हिंसा है. पर अपनी परवरिश या बड़ों को जवाब न देने की सोंच के चलते वह महिला खामोश रहना चुनती है. बल्कि वह अपने माता-पिता के साथ एक सौहार्दपूर्ण रिश्ता बनाए रखना चाहती है. धनक से मदद की उम्मीद करने वाली महिलाएं चाहती हैं की उनके मान-बाप को बात कर के समझाया जाये और उसके साथी के साथ विवाह के लिए मना लिया जाये.

Purpose:
To form a team which consists of parents and sympathizers who wish to form a society based on human values. The purpose of the group being, willing to meet with the parents to motivate them for the marriage of their daughter, as per her choice.

Glimpses of the discussion to understand the efficacy of such a group and to discuss the methods of intervention.

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Baat Kijiye Saath Dijiye

Dalit Man Killed Allegedly by Pregnant Wife’s Vaishya Family in Telangana

The strongest opposition to interfaith/inter-caste marriages comes from the parents of a couple. Parents can go to any extent to stop their adult children from, or for, marrying a person of their choice.

Clearly, this is a case of domestic violence.
Due to social conditioning and the non-questioning approach towards elders, the female in the relationship looks towards an amicable relationship with her parents.

The majority of requests received by DHANAK is from females seeking help to talk to her parents and convince them of her alliance.

As part of Dhanak’s ongoing campaign, “Baat Kijiye Saath Dijiye”; to form a society based on human values, we propose to form a team consisting of parents and sympathizers. The purpose is to, 1. educate and make parents aware of their children’s Right To Choose and, 2. discuss the methods of intervention.

 

 

BAAT KIJIYE SAATH DIJIYE

The term “bhaag kar shaadi kar li” makes it an easy way to place blame on young adults, portraying them as ill-behaved and disrespectful.
The real reason, we all know is that the young adults are left with no choice. Parents do not even entertain the idea of having a dialogue with their children. They intimidate, threaten and emotionally blackmail in the hopes that their children will give into their wishes.

We, at Dhanak believe it is important for parents to be open to listening to their children and their choices. They need to realize that adult children have rights. The #RightToChoose
#BaatKijiyeSaathDijiye

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Fighting For Interfaith Couples Whose Marriages Are Attacked As ‘Love Jihad’

Asif Iqbal and Ranu Kulsreshtha are co-founders of Dhanak, an organisation that helps interfaith and inter-caste couples register their marriage through Special Marriage Act (SMA), 1954. Members of Dhanak explain how the SMA, which allows Indians to marry irrespective of religious differences, has certain provisions that can endanger the privacy and safety of couples who are often already targets of self-proclaimed moral brigades.

Dhanak, whose network includes nearly 800 interfaith couples, assumes greater relevance in India’s current political climate where inter-faith couples are harassed in the name of ‘love-jihad’.

By Moniza Hafizee

BAAT KIJIYE SAATH DIJIYE

Friends,

We are entering the third week of our campaign – BAAT KIJIYE SAATH DIJIYE

As we mentioned in the beginning of our campaign; this campaign is primarily targeted towards parents. To help them realize the importance of holding a dialogue with their adult children, respecting their choices and recognizing their rights as adults.

While we counsel youngsters and  help them navigate through the complex and often intimidating judicial system, weak law enforcement, and community/family emotional threats; we have established that parents need to be made aware of their adult childrens’ rights –

Adults Right to Choose their partner.

This aspect is severly lacking in our society. The parents emotional abuse and scare tactics take a terrible toll. It is overpowering enough that many children give into their parents whims at the expense of letting go of their own dreams and desires. Many end in a Forced Marriage or worse, sometimes a victim of an Honour based Crime.

While this is a campaign, our work of awareness on this matter, persists among our other commitments.

Thank you for keeping up with us. Your input/feedback is not only welcome, but important to us. So please, take a moment to ponder, ask questions and spread our message.

Dhanak Team

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Right To Choose Life Partner Is A Fundamental Right, Consent Of Family, Community, Clan Not Necessary For Marriage Between Two Adults: SC

When two adults marry out of their volition, they choose their path; they consummate their relationship; they feel that it is their goal and they have the right to do so Any kind of torture or torment or ill-treatment in the name of honour that tantamount to atrophy of choice of an individual relating to love and marriage by any assembly, whatsoever nomenclature it assumes, is illegal and cannot be allowed a moment of existence…

Read more at: Right to choose partner is a fundamental right…